Ivan Bytchkov Random Encounter/Script

The following is a script of the encounter with Ivan Bytchkov in Grand Theft Auto IV.


Ivan: Niko, isn't it?

Niko: Yes... who are you?

Ivan: Ivan... you don't remember me? You nearly killed me, motherfucker... good to see you.

Niko: Yes...

Ivan: Shit, I owe you my fucking life... fantastic!

Niko: Hey...

Ivan: I'm doin' great, man, life has been good. I'm living here now, doing very well. Engaged, happy, business is good. I love this fucking country, man! What about you?

Niko: I'm not engaged, a lot of people want me dead. Apart from that, the same as you. What business?

Ivan: I lend people money. But all very friendly! Listen, do you want to come along? I've got to see someone just around the corner. Come with me. C'mon.


Ivan: They're just over on Berners Road.

(Niko begins to drive to Berners Road)

Ivan: I heard that Vlad went missing soon after I left Hove Beach.

Niko: Yeah, he wasn't around for much longer. A few people moved away.

Ivan: I bet he went back to Russia. Typical of everyone in Hove Beach. Come to Liberty City but only speak to Russians. Of everywhere here, Alderney is the most like the Real America. I love it, man.

Niko: I hear the real America is all strip malls and clinical obesity?

Ivan: That's a ridiculous generalization. They're good people. Good people.

(Niko and Ivan arrive at Berners road)

Ivan: Hey, home boys. Hit me up with that paper you borrowed.

Gangster: Shit, you want that back? I thought it was a gift, B. You and us being so tight and all. If you and your boy don't get out of here, we're gonna start taking this personal.

Niko: My friend lent you some money and he wants it back.

Gangster: Show these boys that they isn't welcome up in here, son.


Gangster: Drop these chumps before they start getting on my nerves.

Gangster: These commies is a long way from home, son. Send them packing.

(Niko and Ivan kill the gangsters)

Ivan: In-fucking-sane. You saved my ass again. You animal. Awooo!

Niko: Don't worry about it.

Ivan: No man, this means something. I'm the big shot money lender who screws his hot apple pie American fiancee three times a week. And you still ain't made it yet. But you're the one saving my life. Hang in there man, this should help. And it is a gift. Believe it, baby.

Niko: Thanks, I'll try to hang in there... I guess. Enjoy the dream.

Alternate dialogue

Ivan: Shit, man. What are you doing in Alderney? Best thing that happened to me was leaving Hove Beach.

Niko: When me and my cousin had to leave, it wasn't so happy.

Ivan: Screw that man, I'm sorry. I was sick of all that talk about home. I came to this country to eat burgers, watch reality TV, and fuck cheerleaders! Ha! Not to eat cabbage, watch shit cabaret, and sleep with girls who couldn't even get me a greencard.

Niko: Looks like you're in the right place then.

Failing the mission

Niko: Go for a walk. If anyone asks, you didn't see my face.

Niko: I don't want to hurt you, so go. Get lost. Okay?

Niko: If you know what's good for you, you will get out of here.