Logging On/Script

The following is a script of the mission "Logging On" in Grand Theft Auto IV.


Roman: Well just get there! Damn these people...

Niko: Hey, Roman. Who's the steroid junkie?

Roman: Brucie - have you met my cousin? Niko, this is Brucie. We met online.

Niko: Oh... Lovemeet.net?

Brucie: In a dark corner, doing dark deeds, we're both players, my friend. Players. VIP. For real. Classy, but... also sexy... that's how I like my women. I work at it, so they should too, right?

Roman: Ha! Yeah.

Niko: What is he talking about?

Roman: Brucie's a dreamer... he understands my vision.

Niko: Oh, so he's an idiot?

Brucie: Hey!

Roman: Aha ha! Screw you. Listen, man... you should try going online.

Niko: I know how to go on the line. I just haven't done it here.

Roman: Of course. Technophobe. Luddite. We gotta get you online - it's a world of opportunities!

Niko: Such as?

Roman: All kinds of things! Yesterday I was online and I discovered a blog about women who don't like to shave. That's pretty important. Listen, I promised Brucie I'd go out with him - can you got out and get it sorted? Go to Tw@ and register on one of the PCs here. A pretty girl is expecting you. I'm bored of not being able to email you, cousin. And the family keep sending me news for you. Brucie.

Brucie: Yeah!

Roman: Stop exercising.

Brucie: Okay. Let's put some bitches to the sword, VIP style! Come on!

Niko: He's a cool guy.

Roman: Yeah...

Niko: I know how to use the Internet. I'm not a fool.

(Niko arrives at the internet cafe and speaks to the assistant)

Niko: Hey there... my name's Niko. My cousin, he told me to come here.

Assistant: Roman? He call me about you. He so funny. I set you up on that computer already. It's easy. Just follow the instructions on there. Ok?

(Niko sets up his email account and leaves)

Assistant: I see you again, Roman's cousin. Come back any time.

Niko: The name is Niko, I'll see you around.

Post mission phone call

Niko: I have set up the email account. I am now online in Liberty City, Roman.

Roman: Nice one, cousin. Did you meet the girl who works there? Nice pair of titties on her, no? Later on.

Roman: Niko, my friend Brucie has a business proposition for us.

Niko: He going to pay me to pump him full of steroids and tell him how great his abs are?

Roman: No, he can take care of that all by himself. Brucie is a major motor head. He's going to send you emails about all the cars he wants and you're going to get them for him.

Niko: What're you going to do?

Roman: Come on, I made the introduction. I'm the manager, man. Go check your emails, Niko. Let's hang out soon, okay?