Spank Menace Grows. No New Information: Difference between revisions
Spank Menace Grows. No New Information (view source)
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==Article== | ==Article== | ||
The new street menace, SPANK, is running riot in [[Liberty City]], and has been blamed for the rise in crime across the entire metropolitan area. That much is well known. What police and other government agencies interested in that sort of thing had no idea about was where the SPANK was coming from. And, we've got to be honest, they still don't know. But they're coming up with a theory. "As soon as we can." | The new street menace, SPANK, is running riot in [[Liberty City in GTA III Era|Liberty City]], and has been blamed for the rise in crime across the entire metropolitan area. That much is well known. What police and other government agencies interested in that sort of thing had no idea about was where the SPANK was coming from. And, we've got to be honest, they still don't know. But they're coming up with a theory. "As soon as we can." | ||
Quite what the impact of SPANK on our community has been is impossible to gauge, but police are certain it is responsible "for a lot of crime." One thing is clear, a SPANK habit is expensive, relatively speaking. "You could feed a family of four for two months with the money your average SPANK user is blowing in a short time, shoving it down their ears and up their noses, or where the sun doesn't shine in suppository form, popular amongst the more addled SPANK heads," said a concerned teacher. "On my salary, I couldn't afford to do SPANK. But that's what a career in public service does for you. Still, I do get 3 month holidays, and I sleep easy at night, knowing I'm doing the right thing." Our educational source, who chose to remain anonymous, but who is head of physics at Shoreside High School, then lectured on corruption in education, under-funding and a few little tricks with a Van Der Graaf Generator, before we left her and wrote this blind date off as a pretty depressing experience. | Quite what the impact of SPANK on our community has been is impossible to gauge, but police are certain it is responsible "for a lot of crime." One thing is clear, a SPANK habit is expensive, relatively speaking. "You could feed a family of four for two months with the money your average SPANK user is blowing in a short time, shoving it down their ears and up their noses, or where the sun doesn't shine in suppository form, popular amongst the more addled SPANK heads," said a concerned teacher. "On my salary, I couldn't afford to do SPANK. But that's what a career in public service does for you. Still, I do get 3 month holidays, and I sleep easy at night, knowing I'm doing the right thing." Our educational source, who chose to remain anonymous, but who is head of physics at Shoreside High School, then lectured on corruption in education, under-funding and a few little tricks with a Van Der Graaf Generator, before we left her and wrote this blind date off as a pretty depressing experience. | ||
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==External Link== | ==External Link== | ||
*[http://www.rockstargames.com/libertytree/sep2001/story4.html Spank Menace Grows. No New Information article] | *[http://www.rockstargames.com/libertytree/sep2001/story4.html Spank Menace Grows. No New Information article] | ||
[[Category:Liberty Tree Articles]] | [[Category:Liberty Tree Articles]] | ||