Surreal Estate/Script

The following are dialog and mission scripts for "Surreal Estate", a mission in Grand Theft Auto V.


(Trevor arrives at the Bilingsgate Motel to meet Josh)

Josh Bernstein: It was the crash, not you.

(Josh sees Trevor)

Josh Bernstein: Tony, Tony, Tony, oh you nailed that bastard. Alright, go ahead, she's waiting for ya, right upstairs. Okay? Bouncy, bouncy.

Trevor Philips: Alright.

(Trevor goes into room nine and the time moves forward a few hours with Trevor leaving before being spotted by Josh)

Josh Bernstein: Hey, Tony, Tony, Tony! Hope you had a good time up there, huh?

Trevor Philips: Yeah, yeah, not bad, not bad. Bit skinny but not, not bad. Where you know her from? You uh, you ain't the pimp type.

Josh Bernstein: Pimp? No, she's my wife. She's my wife. I left my first wife and kids for her. Best decision I ever made. Oh, fantastic. I mean, she's been the making of me.

Trevor Philips: Whatever gets you off, man.

Josh Bernstein: Listen, um... if... if you're up for it. Do you remember that house on Eclipse? Where I was standing out in front of?

Trevor Philips: Yeah.

Josh Bernstein: Do you remember it? Okay, okay. Well that's, that's my old place, and it's in foreclosure. But, well, if something was to, to happen to the place, y'know, some gas gets spilled, I'd, I'd still get the full value on the insurance. I'm just sayin'.

Trevor Philips: Yeah... I understand.

Josh Bernstein: I love ya. I'm... I'm real glad that you fucked my wife.

(Trevor stares at Josh)

Trevor Philips: Jesus...

(Trevor walks to Josh's car to collect more gasoline inside)

Trevor Philips: Like I say, you can never have too much gasoline.

(Trevor pulls away)

Josh Bernstein: Please be careful with my car!

(Trevor begins driving to Josh's house)

Trevor Philips: Just when I thought this situation couldn't get any more messed up. If I'd known she was his wife, I wouldn't have... no... who am I kidding?

(Trevor continues to drive towards Josh's house and receives a phone call from Josh)

Josh Bernstein: Tony it's me, bud, listen there's a gas grill out by the pool. You light that up and I'll be able to see the fireworks from here. (Now) You do this for me, and you'll see just how grateful Mrs. Bernstein can really be.

Trevor Philips: Leave it to me. Just feed her up a bit, will you?

(Trevor and Josh end their phone call)

Trevor Philips: How can it be wrong when it feels so right?

(Trevor continues to drive to Josh's house and climbs over the wall)

Trevor Philips: Okay, time to light the grill.

(Trevor goes to the grill and begins pouring a gasoline trail)

Trevor Philips: You know, Trevor, you could just go to a prostitute.

(Trevor continues to pour the gasoline)

Trevor Philips: Nice place, but give me the Bilingsgate Motel any day.

(Trevor continues to pour the gasoline)

Trevor Philips: All for you, Mrs. Bernstein.

(Trevor shoots the gasoline trail causing it to ignite and the grill to explode)

Trevor Philips: Okay, that's going to attract attention. I should probably get out of here.

(Trevor leaves the area and phones Josh)

Josh Bernstein: Josh Bernstein Realty.

Trevor Philips: I hear that property on Eclipse is hot right now.

Josh Bernstein: Excellent. Let me speak to my better half about schedules, and uhh, we'll get back to you.