User:Dan ramP

A maurindian [1/2 indian 1/2 mauritian] greb who wishes he could afford San Andreas for his pc so he can play multiplayer. Heres some info about the band hes in taken straight from uncyclopedia minus the quotes.

Keith in the Woods

Keith in the Woods are a melodic death metal/power metal/comedy metal band from Derby in Britain.

History

The idea of the band was formed at Sophie's birthday party in summer 06. Alfie said that the now dead and gone inflammable band should be called keith in the woods. This never happend because ben [who started inflammable] thought shit|inflammable was way cooler. However Dan and Joe decided to take this idea further with a new band a couple of months later.

Its been a hard struggle finding band members and a lead vocalist and keyboardist are still needed. If you live in derby, like melodic death/power/heavy metal, keyboard/can do screaming vocals you probably know someone called vonnie so tell her, she seems to know everyone.

Joe founded Keith in the Woods and he and dan were the first members. Initially he was inspired to play keyboard by "Bed of Razors by Children Of Bodom but then went back to his first dream to play drums. As it stands, joe does'nt actually have access to a drumkit and donations would be appreciated. All he asks for is about £60 for a three piece drumkit with double bass kicks. He would also like a cowbell. Joes decided against playing guitar as he frankly sucks but he does enjoy pissing around with tremelo bars.

Dan joined Keith in the Woods precisly 2.555666 seconds after Joe brough up the subject and he would like to think that he has helped the band get through its problems, such as realising that Jaz will never play bass for us, and that Tom would rather have an asian friend before being our vocalist. Dan has been playing guitar for a year and is acceptable; but everyone, apart from Alexi Laiho could improve. He uses an Epiphone les paul custom but is planning to buy a Jackson RR3. Again, donations are welcome. Dan also enjoys using tremelo bars but believes the sould be used by the person playing guitar, not by Joe grabbing at it when someone else is playing.

Andy joined Keith in the Woods when Joe told him to in late November. Andy can play bass well but just needs a song to learn, so Joe told him to learn "Are You Dead Yet?" by Children Of Bodom. Andy has some quite frankly awesome ideas to put towards the band, such as everyone wearing afros in varing colours and using terrorists in live performances. He uses an Encore bass. However he left because of "emo reasons".

The news of koya joining the band is has heightened the bands spirits and lead to "works like a crack whore" to be created. Whereas Koya has only recently taken up guitar, he is progressing well and is much better than joe, who cant play power chords. Koya has the exorcist theme tune and a song with 2 random chords that he doesnt know in his knowledge and is learning "self esteem" by The Offspring. Koya then left the band becoause he likes japapanese pop and not melodic death metal.

Pizzey is in the band cos goose finally let him. Pizzey started playing guitar because dan made him, he has an epiphone les paul standard thats trans blue, and he somehow "broke" the sustain. Pizzey is pretty good on guitar and has a line 6 spyder 30 amp. He plans to buy a jackson KE3 Kelly or something like that. Unfortunatly we (as in Me and Dan) (Me being Goose) discovered Pizzey is an Asshole idiot. skipping to the point Pizzey doesn't like playing metal Cause hes a fucking penis weasel but he only likes listening to it so we may hopefully need a new guitarist.

Toms in on ukulele. Tom started the ukulele inspiration for KitW, it is even said that he invented the ukulele but georges relatives stole his design and only recently, Tom has gotten hold of a uke. Tom is extremely competant on uke and is set to be the next Jake Shimabukuro.

Oscar Wilde is in the band because.......i dont know why hes in the band, goose put it in the atricle so that it looked more like a normal uncyclopedia article and worships oscar wilde. Goose you make me sick

RS Crew

The RS Crew is not really related to Keith in the Woods but 4 of the 5 people in it are [or used to be] in Keith in the Woods. Dan, Joe, Jas, Koya and James make up the RS Crew and they even have an RS van [their schools minibus]. They were created in an RS lesson and Joe is the leader. He summons the RS Crew by using a sport relief keyring that makes a tapping noise. Koya was shit at RS, just like Dan and Joe and hated it, Just like Dan and Joe so Koya left. Lucky Bastard.

Current line-up

Joe "Goose" - drums

Dan "ramP" - lead guitar/ukulele

Tom "Tom" - ukulele

Pizzey "Pizzey" - Rhythm guitar

Oscar Wilde "i have no nick name" - sex appeal/backing vocals (wtf goose?!) (only one of us with a brain that works)

Former members (kind of)

Jas "jazzy Fizzle" - bass

Koya "i have no nickname" - rhythm guitar

Andy "emo kid" - bass

Trivia

• Keith in the Woods are influenced by Children Of Bodom, Eternal Tears of Sorrow, Norther, Slipknot, Bullet for my Valentine<--(just dan), System of a Down and Tenacious D. They have a track list and 1 song is almost complete.
• Song writing is in progress and "ʕʊŋṬ ʄḶɑΡ", "Hate Hobbit", "The Lemon Of Doom" and "penarse" have full lyrics. ʕʊŋṬ ʄḶɑΡ and Lemon of Doom finally have music for them.
• Dan and Joe are writing guitar pieces; Dan has taken a more traditional approach, like using some sort of key, Joe has taken a more interesting approach and is writing insane riffs that Dan cant play, just because Joe cant play guitar it doesn't mean he wont write music.
• Keith in the Woods mascot is a hyper trainee ninja grim reaper called Melvin. The idea of Melvin was invented in a maths lesson when Joe tried to draw a new type of flying v. It sucked soo badly that Dan could see a little grim reaper in the making. A few tweeks and Melvin was born.
• Dans Jackson appeal finally payed off, he raised around £30 by scabbing of people (goose and pizzey and even the japnese kid) and now has required amount for the Jackson, he tried it in soundcontrol but some pedo guy with grey hair working there wouldnt give his the tremolo bar. the same fuckwit claims to have a "tuner in his head". Dan would buy it but his dads being gay and wont let him.
• Keith in the Woods hate Green Day, Nirvana and Mcfly
• As Keith in the Woods are a low budget band (26p) they use epiphone, behringer and cowbell. However Crate are legend amps and they will continue to use them.

The people behind the band

• Pizzey is a Asshole|nice guy
• Goose enjoys the pleasure of suicide|grue huffing
• Dan is a porn star
• Goose is Dislexic Deslexic Can't spell (dyslexic)
• Koya is not japanese but Japapanese, he also resembles a lemon
• Jas is the worlds biggest pimp with a total of ZOMGHAX amount of hoes and he has a fair few garden hoes aswell
• Tom is racist
• Dan is a Dumb Ass Nigga
• Goose pwns two shotguns
• Pizzey is an attractive single athletic guy who hates gingers and a certain person who he can't say his nickname because its discriminting him and this is shite cos he looks like a Pixie with a lesbian haircut. A bad lesbian haircut.

General Stuff

The following things/people helped start KitW without knowing it:

• Alexi Laiho
• Jack Black
• Herman Li
• Penguins

Stalkers of Keith in the Woods:

• George, when KitW initially started, George bribed his way into the band by bringing in various Fenders that none likes. However KitW didnt want him because:

• he likes the shit band Nirvana.
• he likes the shit band Green Day.
• Hes in a fucking wheelchair

Quotes

• dan: "Sheep Falls Down!"
• joe: "Goats are touching your crumpets"
• jas "I am NOT married"
• ben "DUH....DEH.DUH.DUURR..." incomprehensible drunk imression of Master Of Puppets at Download which george milked sooo badly. nob bucket.
• Haydn: "dan you're gonna be a pornstar arent you"
• Weebl: "eurgh dicksprouts!!"
• crossfire1278: "Whats the music? "Emo Faggot" by Good Charlotte?" [some guy off youtube]