For the Man Who Has Everything/Script

The following is a script of the mission For the Man Who Has Everything in The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Script

Yusuf: Yo, nigga!

Luis: Would you shut the fuck up, man? What's wrong with you?

Yusuf: Yo, yo, yo. Easy, amigo. I'm just pleased to see you. Come on baby, give me some skin! Come on.

Luis: What are you doing here?

Yusuf: Well you know it's my father ...uh...hey, you know my ancestors, we built the pyramids baby! We built the ziggurats. They invented math and shit. I'm here I'm not afraid. I can get my hands dirty. I can work.

Luis: Whatever, man. How's it going?

Yusuf: Epic, homie. This shit is epic. People will write a bible about this shit in the future, baby. I'm talking luxury on a whole new level. This place going to be so expensive, people won't even be able to afford it. It's going to be drowned in gold, u'know it's like, 'yo, yo, is that a diamond in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me', and shit. Y'know the sales sheet's going to say, "The Impossible dream. Priceless indulgence. Style by Yusuf Amir. A timeless classic. Time classic!"

Luis: Yeah, sounds perfect, man. Just what the people want right now. But... what are you doing here?

Yusuf: I'm crafting this whole thing with my bare hands.

Luis: Okay, cool man, listen, it was good catching up with you, okay? I'll see you soon.

Yusuf: Hey, not so fast, homie. Yo, could you give me a ride to my helicopter? I could tell you something on the way.

Luis: But I thought you was busy building the pyramids?

Yusuf: All work and no play makes Yusuf a dull boy. Come on, baby, it'll be fun.

Dialogue

Yusuf: We rolling out to the Broker Side of the Algonquin bridge, homeboy.

Luis: Before I forget, you mind handing over some more of those explosive shells? Those things are tight, man.

Luis: What you after this time, man? I got you that tank think and the chopper - what now, you want the Statue of Happiness for your back yard?

Yusuf: Excellent idea, my friend, but that will have to wait.

Luis: Alright then. What we after?

Yusuf: Wait for it.

Luis: I'm waiting,

Yusuf: You ready?

Luis: Just fucking tell me, bro!

Yusuf: A motherfucker subway train! Oh yeah, baby. The prize of the fleet. The assfucking flagship of the LTA. Give it up!

Luis: What you want a subway train for?

Yusuf: We're taking that shut out to the Gulf for a new Liberty City themed development out there. Check this out, a genuine LTA submarine train! Get that shit going through a precious and delicate coral reef! Ah! Perfect.

Luis: Aside from how fucking dumb that sounds, how am I supposed to take that thing?

Yusuf: Not going to be easy, dog. No one likes people fucking with their public transport in this paranoid age.

Luis: Can't you just buy yourself a subway car, bro?

Yusuf: No, man, shit. We need the genuine article. The real deal. You think we could put the Amir name to anything but authentic shit?

Luis: Yo. How am I supposed to pull this off?

Yusuf: Okay, we just need the front car of the train. You jump on board, you climb to the front and you unhook the car. I'll handle all the rest, Real simple, man.

Luis: I don't know why I hang out with you, bro.

Yusuf: 'Cause you fucking love this shit, homie. Ain't nothing like rolling with this Arabic bad boy. That and I'm going to put your clubs on the world stage. We'll have a lounge on the moon by the time we're done. For real.

Luis: Dios Mio. I can't believe I'm doing this.

Yusuf: Believe it, baby. Pinch yourself. You ain't dreaming. This is no film. The city is our playground, homie.

Luis: If it's our playground, how come I'm the only one getting dirty? Shit.

Yusuf: I'm gonna look after you. You and Tony. Your problems, man, Yusuf can make them go away.

Luis: You better be able to, bro. 'Cause you about to owe me big time.

(Luis drives to the train)

Yusuf: Here's the spot!

Yusuf: Get in position to jump, my friend. I will meet you later.

Failing the mission

Missing the train

Luis: Hey man, I missed the train, bro. You're gonna have to rethink things.

Yusuf: Okay, man, okay. Back tot he drawing board. Call me.