A Home in the Hills: Difference between revisions

CJ, Woozie and Kendl are in the casino giving auditions to people for shows. There is currently a midget auditioning.

Midget: (singing) Don't hate the little man, because he's packing a 6 shooter!

Kendl: Next.

CJ: Thank you.

Midget: Thank you? Thank you?! Do you know how much balls it takes to stand down here and sing a song like that? It takes guts!

Woozie: I'm sorry. We're just looking for something with a little more mass appeal.

Midget: What could have more mass appeal than a song like "Small But Perfectly Formed"? Women want me. Men want to be like me! Assholes!

(The Midget exits.)

Kendl: You gotta be kidding me, right?

CJ: Damn! This casino game is hard work. I thought it was just a case of opening the doors and letting suckers give you their money.

Woozie: If only.

Kendl: You know what? I'm getting bored here. I'm trying to do business, not audition midgets.

Woozie: People of reduced stature, you mean.

Kendl: Yeah, yeah, I said that. All I know is, when are we gonna get some real talent in here?

CJ: I heard that.

(Madd Dogg enters.)

CJ: Madd Dogg!

Madd Dogg: CJ! I'm clean, dude!

CJ: That's good news, man. Hey, what's cracking? You ready to take it to the stage again?

Madd Dogg: Easy, CJ, c'mon, man. One step at a time, you know? I'm almost ready, but, but...

CJ: But what?

Madd Dogg: I want to go home now, CJ.

CJ: That's cool, man, I'll take you. Where's home?

Madd Dogg: My mansion, baby.

Kendl: Yeah, I heard about that place. Drugs, sex, all that shit.

Madd Dogg: Yeah, you know it - but...

CJ: Yeah, yeah I been there... I mean, I seen it on TV.

Madd Dogg: Yeah.

CJ: Nice crib.

Madd Dogg: Thanks, playa.

CJ: We could do with a place like that to set up in LS again, wait for Sweet. Get things moving. Get out dis midget game.

Madd Dogg: But, CJ... Come on, man...

CJ: What? I saved your life, man!

Madd Dogg: My mansion ain't big enough. Only got 19 bedrooms, you hear? A'ight, man, my mansion's been seized.

Woozie: IRS?

Madd Dogg: Nah, not exactly.

CJ: Who?

Madd Dogg: Nobody.

CJ: Who, Madd Dogg?

Madd Dogg: A'ight, Big Poppa.

CJ: Big Poppa! The drug dealer? Man... you gave your multi million-dollar mansion to a mother-fucking pusher?

Madd Dogg: You know, CJ, these things happen. I was powerless!

CJ: You fucking degenerate! Oh - man! How much blow can one guy snort?

Madd Dogg: It's not my fault, CJ!

CJ: Man, I should have let you jump! Come with me. All of you! We're ALL going home.

(CJ is flying over Los Santos on a plane with four Triads. CJ's phone rings.)

CJ: Hello.

Kendl: Hey, what's up, Carl?

CJ: Hey, Kendl, whassup?

Kendl: Nothing - just thought I'd wish you luck. We're gonna drive back to, uh, San Fierro first. Wanna check things out there before we hook up with you guys in Los Santos.

CJ: Alright cool, you be careful.

Kendl: I'll be fine, I got Cesar and Madd Dogg to keep me safe. You be careful.

CJ: I will. I'll see you in Los Santos.

(CJ finishes the phone call and puts his phone away.)

CJ: (to Triad 1) Me and you gonna go in to clear the place out.

Traid 1: Element of surprise.

CJ: So the rest of the crew can move in in peace.

(Two Triads parachute onto the helipad on top of Madd Dogg's Crib and light flares. CUT BACK TO the four Triads and CJ about to jump out of the plane.)

Traid 2: (to Triad 1) You ever jumped before?

Traid 1: Nah. You?

Traid 2: Nah.

Traid 1: When we land, we're going to feel invincible!

Ttraid 2: I AM INVINCIBLE!

(Triad 2 jumps out of the plane.)

Triad 1: Hey, wait up!

(Triad 1 jumps out of the plane.)

Traid 3: WhaaaHOOOOO!

(Triad 3 jumps out of the plane.)

Traid 4: WhaaaHEEEEE!

(Triad 4 jumps out of the plane. CJ jumps out of the plane next.)

(CJ and some Triads are inside Madd Dogg's Crib.)

Traid: We're heavily outnumbered, but if we all keep our heads, we should kick ass!

(The Triad's head gets blown off.)

(Big Poppa gets into a car outside Madd Dogg's Crib.)

(On screen) You have taken back Madd Dogg's mansion.