Target Practice/Script

The following are dialog and mission scripts for "Target Practice", a mission in Grand Theft Auto V.


(Trevor approaches Cletus at his house)

Cletus Ewing: That'll make a mess.

(Cletus spots Trevor)

Cletus Ewing: Hey, bud, what ya doin?

Trevor Philips: Nothin', what you up to Cletus?

Cletus Ewing: Ah, hunting.

Trevor Philips: Hunting? Hunting what? Retirees?

Cletus Ewing: Nah, just stuff. Windows, antennae, tires, vermin!

Trevor Philips: Ah, so that was you? 'Tis the season for it.

Cletus Ewing: I don't give a shit about no season.

Trevor Philips: Ah, good, huh. Don't let the regulations get ya down.

Cletus Ewing: That's what I'm sayin'. Hey, hey, hey, you wanna come huntin' with me? It'd be really neighborly of ya.

Trevor Philips: Hell, why not?

Cletus Ewing: Alright then! Up here wit' ya.

(Trevor follows Cletus to the second storey balcony of his house)

Cletus Ewing: I got just the thing. let's raise some hell, neighbor!

Trevor Philips: Oh, I'm in.

Cletus Ewing: I'll introduce you to one of my all-time favorite pastimes. You're gonna love this. Okay, you see them three big satellite dishes? A decent shot and they'll go down easier than a whore's drawers.

(Trevor shoots the first satellite dish)

Cletus Ewing: Yeah, that's it, give 'em hell. Shoot another one!

(Trevor shoots down the middle satellite dish)

Cletus Ewing: No more reality TV for you, Mrs. Gilbert! Okay, one more for the road.

(Trevor shoots the third satellite dish)

Cletus Ewing: Boom! Didn't I tell you this'd be more fun than a barrel full of pussies?

Trevor Philips: You're a classy date, Cletus, no denying that.

Cletus Ewing: Now drive us up to that abandoned motel. I got an even better idea.

(Trevor gets into Cletus' Dune Buggy)

Cletus Ewing: Ain't she a beauty? Drives like a dream.

(Trevor and Cletus begin driving to the abandoned motel)

Trevor Philips: So what now?

Cletus Ewing: We're gonna try our luck on something less stationary.

Trevor Philips: Ooh, liberals?

Cletus Ewing: Nothin' as slippery as that. You'll see.

Trevor Philips: You've got way too much time on your hands.

Cletus Ewing: Nah, this is just a bit of foolery. I've been busier than hell with the real hunting. The money in wild, organic meat these days, you wouldn't believe. Them hipsters'll give you their parents last dime for it. It's gotten so I can't even keep up with the demand no more. All this eat-local-small-batch-farm-to-table bullshit. You know, I could maybe use another pair of hands, if I can get you up to snuff with that rifle.

(If Trevor damages the Dune Buggy)

Cletus Ewing: This is a four thousand dollar vehicle!

(Trevor and Cletus arrive at the abandoned motel)

Cletus Ewing: Here we are.

(Trevor and Cletus begin walking toward a nearby flight of stairs)

Cletus Ewing: I bet you never shot out the tires on a car before?

Trevor Philips: You'd be surprised.

Cletus Ewing: Well, let's see what you got then.

Trevor Philips: Ain't you gonna shoot anything, Cletus?

Cletus Ewing: Nah, I do this all the time. And I want to see how you deal with a moving target.

(Trevor and Cletus reach the second floor balcony)

Cletus Ewing: This is perfect right here. Pick a car and shoot a tire. Good plain old-fashioned fun.

(If Trevor points the sniper rifle at Cletus)

Cletus Ewing: Why are you gettin' all ornery?
Cletus Ewing: Don't get your panties in wad now.

(If Trevor takes his time to shoot a target)

Cletus Ewing: Hellfire, Trevor, you ain't rushin' this, are you?

(Trevor shoots a tire)

Cletus Ewing: That's it, beauty! And again, Trevor!

(Trevor shoots a second tire)

Cletus Ewing: Nice! Go on, one more... just for the hell of it!

(Trevor shoots a third tire)

Cletus Ewing: That was some damn fine shootin', Trevor. Right, let's change it up. C'mon, follow me.

(Cletus begins to lead Trevor to their next destination)

Cletus Ewing: Just two fellers killin' time in small-town America. Don't get much better than this, does it?

Trevor Philips: The two most popular guys in town!

Cletus Ewing: Am I glad I ran into you. Ain't nowhere near this fun bein' antisocial on your own.

Trevor Philips: Whatever cranks your tractor, I say. What's up next on the hillbilly anarchist agenda?

Cletus Ewing: Ever shot anything with a face? Actually... let me ask that again... ever shot anything with a face on four legs?

Trevor Philips: Now, Cletus, it's important you realize I'm a man plagued by vicious rumors.

Cletus Ewing: Fine... Let's head for the roof. I seen some coyotes hanging around, down by the road. Reckon it would be real neighborly of us to get rid of a couple.

Trevor Philips: And we are nothing if not neighborly.

(Cletus and Trevor reach a collapsed roof giving access to the roof)

Cletus Ewing: We'll get a better shot from up here.

(Trevor and Cletus reach the edge of the roof)

Cletus Ewing: Alright, I see 'em. Looks like we got two packs of coyotes down there. Take a few of 'em out and the rest should scatter.

(If Trevor waits to shoot the coyotes)

Cletus Ewing: Don't be goin' soft on them critters now!

(If Trevor shoots one coyote)

Cletus Ewing: Hellfire!

(If Trevor shoots two coyotes with one shot)

Cletus Ewing: Two for one. You're even savin' on bullets now! Dropped it like a bad habit! I think you got one more in you, Trevor!

(Trevor kills three coyotes)

Cletus Ewing: That should do it. Nicely done. I reckon you should tag along next time I go hunting out at Paleto Bay. I'll show you how to bag an elk.

Trevor Philips: Why not?

Cletus Ewing: Alright, gotta go. I'll send you a text when I'm about.