Grandtheftwalrus/Sandbox

From Grand Theft Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

First call taking sequence

Lazlow: Alright, Liberty City, this is your talk radio show: Chatterbox, where your opinion matters. Let's go to the phones! Hello, caller, you're on Chatterbox.
Roadkill guy (voiced by Lucien Jones): Hey, you ever had possum? That's some good eatin'.
Lazlow: Nah *chuckle* – I really can't say I have.
Roadkill guy: Well, you oughtta try it some time. I tell you man, it's good eatin'. Possum, racoon, even zebra meat! Cook something pretty good.
Lazlow: Uh, do you have anything else to say, or—
Roadkill guy: Pigeons. Pigeons are good too. Sometimes, they come with notes attached. It's like, a fortune cookie with wings. SQUIRRELS, squirrels is not so good, they taste like goldfish. Meat's real stringy. Y'know what I mean?
Lazlow: Um, actually I can't say that I do. Um, but, but if I did eat too much squirrel and put on a few extra pounds, I'd use the Dormatron! Unlike those other exercise machines that require you to be awake, the Dormatron actually exercises you overnight! Let's learn a little bit more about it.

Advertisement #1: Dormatron

Dormatron customer #1 (voiced by Karin Bykowski): I've tried everything, and I just couldn't keep those extra two hundred pounds off. It started to affect my marriage.
DC #1's husband (voiced by Hank Stewart): She was too big for me, and I'll sleep with anything!
DC #1: The Obdomatrix (?), the Thighaciser (?), tummy stapling. I've had my mouth sewn up, my hands chopped off; you name it, I've tried it.
Husband: Except for exercising and eating right, porky!
DC #1: That's right, honey. Then I found the Dormatron! Using a new technology called bio-rhytmic subconscious gymnastics, the Dormatron exercises you while you sleep. Just strap in your arms and legs, put on the Dormatron headset, then wrap yourself in the special high-voltage electric blanket. Turn it onto 11 and burn those pounds away while you have a relaxing night's sleep. Now that I've lost two hundred and eighty pounds, my husband's all mine again.
Husband: That's right, honey, no more escort services for me!
Dormatron announcer: Don't be fat a day longer than you have to. Remember, being fat can even ruin a romantic cruise. *ship horn* Call Dormatron now, at 1800 SLEEP-OFF-LARD, or visit www.sleepofflard.com, and sleep your way to thinner, happier you.