KGBH Script

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This is the transcript of the KGBH radio station in Grand Theft Auto 2.


Woman: KGBH, in fantastic medium wave!

Bomba Tomba: [Talking to someone away from the mic] ..Let me read my advertisements. Okay. [Now speaking into mic] Special price cabbage: Two for buck. I bought one supply this morning only. Is very good for digestion, makes you do all kinds of lifting things with your butt.

(Music starts, suddenly stops)

Bomba Tomba: My tape machine's broken... This not good. Okay, this never work. I- I break his legs this bastard give me this piece of.. shit.. idiot-

(The music starts again)

Bomba Tomba: ..It's working now. This very good. Here we having now with radio.. eh.. Ah! This is announcement, I must give you announcement. This is, has anyone seen green Silverado stolen from outside my house? Eight clock ten, no, ten o'clock last night. I was little drunk and forgot were I left. It could be anywhere... Uh-

(The music stops again)

Bomba Tomba: What? Hey, come on, what do you want? I'm on the air right now! What are you asking me what ques- Ah! [Starts almost laughing while speaking] Forget it, forget the last message, we found the car. [Speaking normally now] Okay, requests..!

(Music starts again)

Bomba Tomba: Well, Boris Mirsh was twelve today - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BORIS!! He got computer game and cake. Eh, Boris, Boris, sell the game, eat the cake.

Woman: KGBH, where the big noise isss...

("Surf City" from Cow Tastes Good plays)

Bomba Tomba: Whoooooo yeah! This very very nice.. this very nice. I- I am very much liking my.. own radio station. I just have a little dedication to make to my wife Vanda. Vanda, I want to say, I’m sorry I didn’t make home last night. I was very much drinking, I did not make it, I want to make it but I hope you make me dinner still because I like your borscht. Is very good.. and I also the little potatoes-

Prodo: (Interrupts while Bomba Tomba is speaking, Rhyming) He is funny and-

Bomba Tomba: (Continuing) you put with sour cream, and I come by for dinner later, okay? Now-

Prodo: (Rhyming again) He is funny and bright! Plays the music that I like! Bomba Tom-

(Both the music and Prodo get cut off)

Bomba Tomba: Music special for my wife. Special for my wife, I play SPECIAL for you.

(The previous song starts fading in)

Bomba Tomba: This is.. something that I've had very many years at home.. and this very nice piece...

(The songs ends)

Bomba Tomba: *ghaaasj* (Nervous) I don't have it.. I don't have.. I DON'T have piece!! Prodo, get over here, what you do with... This- where's my case? I had case with this piece! This not good. ForGET it! Forget, I can’t- Sorry Wanda. I can’t play this piece for you, but I want to give you something later private, okay?-

Man (could be either Prodo or Bomba Tomba): KGBH!

("Dazed and Confused" from Spangly Feet plays)

(Music stops and you hear Bomba Tomba messing around with a tape cartridge)

Bomba Tomba: This very good band! Is all chicks! This called "Nipples and Chains". Very good band- Uh, give me the track. Prodo!

(Dazed and Confused starts again)

Bomba Tomba: Prodo, come, pa- this very good- Never before heard on my radio station. You hear FIRST from Bomba Tomba. I give you the best! There is no other reason why you listen anywhere else. Don't even think abou- BREAK the radio dials. THIS is where you listen.

(Music is now at full volume and you hear Bomba Tomba speaking away from the mic)

Bomba Tomba: Okay, Prodo, come. What you do? Wait I need a drink, this is ridiculous over here. (slightly louder) You got some more vodka?

Prodo: Shh!

("Dazed and Confused" plays)

Woman: KGBH, on your own vibrrrra...

(The tape player stops)

Woman: KGBH, on y-

(The tape player stops)

Strange voice: Bomba Tomba. Bomba Tomba.

Bomba Tomba: A shipload of vodka just sunk, I'll be on air few minutes more then I'm- I'm not staying on air, this ridiculous! This vodka just sunk.. The vodka sunk! I'm going out of here! This- Look, Prodo, Prodo.. Pro- I'm leaving now! You stay here- Do it. I've been doing this for hours! You do it! I'm.. sick of this! Di-Ri-Ridiculous, you idiota. Forget-a! Prodo, if you listening- GET IN HERE! I'm going break your neck you little bastard prick! Get in here because now is your turn! Okay- This is Bomba Tomba, I say good night. This man, is- I am.. a man of my word I will kick your little.. spindley butt! Okay, this gone- I'm done. This, forget. I've got vodka down- If you want to get free vod- vodka, you have a snorkle and things like this and wetsuits come down we go getting some vodka.. Down at docks it slips.. anyway, I'm gone-

Prodo: (interrupting) If you read on the card you'll be cheating on your heart. Bomba Tombaaah, Bomba Tombaaah!

Woman: KGBH, good radio for all family and friendsss.

("F.A.G. Filter" by Tsunami starts)

Bomba Tomba: This KGBH Radio. This no nonsense radio station. If you get pissed off, you don't like station, you just change it. Don't listen, okay? It is- You don't want to listen, don't listen! Is- *blrpr*! This- This ridiculous! I don’t have to listen to you, you don’t listen to me! Just turn it off! But KGBH plays the best black market radio.