Liberty City Choppers (mission)/Script
Johnny: What's going on Jim?
Jim: Hey, Johnny boy. You know the deal. If it ain't one load of bullshit, it's a God damn n'other.
Johnny: Tell me about it. I'm coming close to really losing my shit here.
Jim: Well, you ain't gonna like what I'm about to do in the next few hours.
Jim: We gotta go steal some bikes from the Angels of Death.
Johnny: Ain't we a little too old for stealing bikes and clubhouse flags and crap like that? It don't help nothing.
Jim: Hey, I hear ya man. But these bike are the real deal. Now I got a guy who pays me for them then he ships them over to Japan. Apparently they're gonna go crazy for these bikes in particular. Now business is business. And the Angels, they're the Angles. So do it for the memories.
Johnny: Okay it's been a little while since you and me been on a prank like this together, hasn't it?
Jim: Too right, brother too right. Who knows, it might be fun.
Jim: Stick to me, Johnny.
Jim: I'm point on this run, let's go.
Jim: keep the shiny side up and stick behind me, brother.
(The two leave)
Jim: You been seeing much of Terry and Clay?
Johnny: Not really, at least not since Billy got back. Shit's been too crazy.
Jim: You should call them, man. They're still cool. Their heads are probably in the same kind of place as yours.
Johnny: Good to be riding just you and me, Jim.
Jim: Nice, man.
Johnny: Yeah, man. Fuck all that Billy shit. Let's go.
(The two pick up a truck and leave their bikes)
Johnny: No one will fuck with our bikes on Lost MC turf.
Johnny: It would take a real dumb civilian to screw with our bikes on club turf.
Jim: They got these bikes at their place near Honkers. Drive us, will ya?
Jim: These bikes are over by the Deadbeat hangout in Tudor.
Jim: The bikes are picked up by the Tudor Chapter's HQ.
Johnny: Where'd you get the van, Jim? You ain't turned into some kind of trailer queen have you?
Jim: Very funny, asshole. This shit belongs to my contact. If I wanted to take a bike somewhere, I'd drive it myself.
Johnny: Yeah? Having an old lady and kid hasn't made you scared of getting dirty?
Jim: I was riding bikes before your momma rode your daddy, Jonathon. Jackie and the baby, yeah it's nice and all. And shit, I mean I love them and stuff, but I'm still a brother. Lost MC, man, forever.
Johnny: So if billy asked you to do something that meant you wouldn't be able to look after them for some time or, or maybe not ever...?
Jim: Yeah Johnny, I take your point. I'd have to think long and hard on it, okay? But I think long and hard about what I'm gonna order at Burger Shot as well, I guess I'm the thinking type of maniac.
(They arrive at the diner)
Jim: It's time to stick it to 'em, Johnny.
Johnny: Let's do this.
Jim: Get 'em on the trailer, Johnny.
Jim: Load the bikes up, man.
Jim: Get the bikes, Johnny. I'll scan the horizon.
(Johnny takes a bike)
Angels of Death: Get your hands off our bike, Loser.
Angels of Death: What are you Losers playing at?
Angels of Death: Tommy, they're trying to take your bike.
Johnny: Too bad, Deadbeats.
Johnny: Fuck yeah!
Johnny: Fuck bikes are ours.
Jim: Get the brothers on the wire, Johnny. We need us some help if we're gonna get home.
(If Johnny calls Terry)
Terry: Jonathan, whatever can I do for you?
Johnny: Well, you could save me and Jim's hides from some angry Deadbeats. We need your help.
Terry: Now, you know only a Chapter Head like Billy can ask for that kind of help. So don't go telling him we're coming to ya.
(If Johnny calls Clay)
Clay: Johnny, man. I thought you'd lost my number.
Johnny: Clay, dude, Me and Jim need some assistance with the AOD.
Clay: Man, we're only meant to stand up on the Chapter leader's say so, but who gives a fuck? We'll be there.
(Johnny hangs up)
Johnny:Terry and Clay are coming down, Jim.
Johnny: The brothers are on their way, man.
Johnny: We got some backup coming, Jim.
(Terry and Clay arrive to help)
Jim: Johnny, man, I'm having trouble here.
Jim: Can you help a brother in need, Johnny?
Jim: A little help here, man.
Johnny: I can lone wolf it from here. I'll see you soon.
Johnny: I think I got all the help I needed. See you.
Johnny: I think this is a job for one man, now. Later.
Johnny: You're starting to cramp my style. Thanks for the help.
Johnny: I can ride solo here on in. Thank you.
Johnny: Thank you for your assistance. I can take it from here.
(Terry and Clay leave)
Johnny: Let's get this truck back.
Johnny: We taking this truck back to your contact?
Johnny: Okay, let's get this truck back to your guy.
(Jim and Johnny get in the truck and run into Angels of Death on bikes that pursue them)
Jim: Screw you, you pricks.
Jim: They just don't know when to quit, do they?
Jim: Come on, these bikes are ours now.
Jim: Yeah, fuck off.
Jim: Fucking Deadbeats. Don't know when to leave good enough alone.
Jim: Would somebody tell the Deadbeats that possession is nine tenths of the law.
Jim: You'd think the Deadbeats would know when they were beat.
(The Angels of Death back off when they get into Lost MC turf)
Johny: Come to the House if you want a real fight, pussies!
Johnny: Don't you want to come on to Lost turf, assholes?
Johnny: Scared of the brothers, you fucking pussies?
(Jim and Johnny arrive at their bikes)
Jim: We should unload a couple of these bikes. A prospect can handle the truck.
Johnny: Alrighty then, aimgo.
(The two begin unloading the trucks)
Johnny: I always get a kick outta sticking it to them pansies.
Jim: Old habits die hard, brother.
Jim: Too bad times weren't always this easy...
Johnny: Oh shit.
Jim: Be cool man.
(A police car shows up and two officers exit and approach Johnny and Jim)
Matthews: Well, what do we have here?
McCornish: Looks to me like a couple of mopes with some stolen bikes.
Johnny: These bikes are ours, Officer.
Jim: Nobody's gonna be reporting these bikes stolen, so give us a break.
Matthews: Ah, looks like these mopes have outsmarted us, don't it?
McCornish: Unbelievable. These inbred biker rednecks get smarter every year. Your parents must have been fuckin' brilliant siblings.
Johnny: Yeah, funny.
Matthews: You think you're smart? How smart you gonna feel when we drag your old lady downtown, turn the cameras off and interrogate her real hard?
McCornish: I bet she'll love it. She'll be begging us for another fucking interrogation in no fucking time.
(McCornish kicks some of the bikes over)
Matthews: Oh! We've been watching the Angels of Death shitbirds.
McCornish: That's right we saw the whole thing you fucking jerk-offs. Case closed.
Matthews: And now you're gonna fucking pay us. Just like your daddy paid your momma for sex.
McCornish: Skank bitch wouldn't even give her own brother a freebie.
Matthews: Think of a number, assholes. And it better be a big one and while you're at it, we're gonna be watching so you better behave yourselves boys.
(McCornish taunts Jim)
McCornish: Watch it there slim.
(The two cops leave)
Jim: Assholes. Fucking cocksuckers.
Johnny: Fucking pricks like those ones made me join The Lost in the first place.
Jim: I'm going to go back to the club house, see who's around. Later man.
Johnny: This is what The Lost MC is about, Jim. Hell yeah.
Jim: Lost for life!
Johnny: Yeah, man. Come on.
(The two get close to the truck)
Johnny: Feels good to be doing something like this. Not just breaking heads 'cause Billy feels like it.
Jim: Or standing round kicking tires and asking what the fucks gone wrong with the chapter.
Johnny: Absolutely. Got to keep active, brother. Keep on moving.
(Jim and Johnny head towards the diner)
Johnny: Who's this contact then?
Jim: A guy Angus knows. They met at one of those bike shows.
Jim: Shit. That guy knows more about tuning a bike than the rest of the brothers put together, but he's the one who can't ride one no more.
Johnny: Luck's a perverse thing ain't it? How are Jackie and the kid? You haven't brought them to the house in a while.
Jim: Hey man, Jackie can handle herself but it ain't exactly a family friendly environment at the moment, is it? You know, when things calm down.
Post mission phone call
Terry: Johnny, it's Terry. Listen, bro, I heard there's a race going down and thought you might be interested?
Johnny: A race? Too fucking right. I'm in, man. I'll be there as soon as I can.
Terry: Sounds good, brother. See you soon/
Failing the mission
Johnny: I guess you gotta tell your contact he ain't getting those bikes and his truck is screwed.
Jim: Fuck him, man. He'll deal with it. Later on, Bro.
Johnny: Too bad about those bikes, man. We missed out on a payday.
Jim: Screw it, my brother. Money's just another thing to worry about. See ya, Johnny boy.