The Party/Script

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The following is a script for The Party, a mission in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

Ken Rosenberg: Go get some sleep, he says - I have been sitting in this chair all night with the lights off drinking coffee! This is a disaster. We are so screwed, man! These gorillas, listen to me, are gonna come down here and rip my head off. It's ridiculous! I did NOT go to law school for this! OK, now what the hell are we gonna do?

Tommy Vercetti: Shut up, sit down, relax. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna find out who took our cocaine - and then, I'm gonna kill them.

Ken Rosenberg: That's a good idea. That's a GREAT idea. Let me think, let me think, let me think. OH! There's this retired Colonel, Colonel Juan Garcia Cortez. He's the one that helped me set up this deal well away from Vice City's established thugs. OK? Now, listen. He's holding his party out in the bay on his expensive yacht and all of Vice City's big players are gonna be there. OK? I have an invite, of course I have an invite. But there's no way that I'm going out there, sticking my head out the door -

Tommy Vercetti: I told you, shut up! I'll go myself...

Ken Rosenberg: Ho - whoa, whoa! Hey, I like 1978 too, but, y'know, this isn't gonna be a beer and strippers do. I mean, no offense, but I think that you might turn heads on the runway for the wrong reasons.

Tommy Vercetti: What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?

Ken Rosenberg: OK, look, here. Stop by Rafael's, tell him I sent 'ya. He'll make you look respectable. OK, go, c'mon...

(Tommy leaves Ken's office)

Tommy Vercetti: Who does that guy think he is?! Now I have to dress like a chump as well as hang out with them?! I like this shirt.

(Tommy gets his outfit from Rafael's)

Tommy Vercetti: Hmmmm...nice bike.

(If the player chooses to steal the bike)

Biker: No! My bike!

(Tommy arrives at Cortez's yacht party, Hall & Oates "Out of Touch" plays in the background)

Juan Cortez: Buenas noches. I understand you are here on the behalf of Mr. Rosenberg. I hope any recent problems have not affected his health, or uh, mental well being, Mr...uh?

Tommy Vercetti: Vercetti. He's just got a touch of...agoraphobia.

Juan Cortez: Excellent, excellent. And you?

Tommy Vercetti: I just want my merchandise.

Juan Cortez: Ah. It's an unfortunate set of circumstances for all involved. Of course I have initiated my own lines of inquiry, but such a delicate matter will take time. Perhaps we will talk later. Meanwhile, let me introduce you to my daughter, Mercedes! Caramia, could you look after our guest while I attend to my necessary obligations?

Mercedes Cortez: Of course, daddy.

Juan Cortez: Please excuse me.

Tommy Vercetti: Mercedes?

Mercedes Cortez: You try living with it. Anyway, let me point out some of our more distinguished guests...That's our congressman Alex Shrub with rising silicone star Candy Suxxx...

(Camera shows Alex Shrub, Candy Suxxx and Kent Paul)

Alex Shrub: And have you met my lovely wife Laura? No? Well, unfortunately she's in Alabama. This is Candy.

(Camera returns to Tommy and Mercedes)

Mercedes Cortez: And over there we have the Vice City Mambas' star tight end, BJ - always the charmer.

(Camera shows BJ Smith, Avery Carrington and Donald Love)

BJ Smith: I blocked down on him and then I put him in a wheelchair!

Avery Carrington: Haha, that is good! Well now, I'm looking at some prime real estate property.

(Camera returns to Tommy and Mercedes)

Mercedes Cortez: And that poolside amphibian is Jezz Torrent,lead singer with Love Fist.

(Camera shows Jezz Torrent)

Jezz Torrent: Can I tell yous - do you know how they play ping-pong in Thailand? Let me tell you's, it does not involve a paddle, if you know what I mean!

(Camera returns to Tommy and Mercedes)

Mercedes Cortez: Impotent. And the chatty trio. That walking sweat gland is Papa's right hand gimp, Gonzales. And the other two are Pastor Richards and pseudo intellectual film director, Steve Scott.

(Camera shows Gonzales, Pastor Richards and Steve Scott)

Steve Scott: ...passion with the nympho invaders, when the giant shark comes in and just bites their dicks off! Ha now, you never saw anything like that before, have you?

(Camera shows Ricardo Diaz arriving)

Ricardo Diaz: Colonel! Your parties as ever are a triumph, hahahaha! I can only apologize for my late arrival.

Juan Cortez: Ah, de nada amigo. How do we find you?

Ricardo Diaz: Our business is very trying - barbarians at the gates. A time for rewarding one's friends and liquidating one's enemies, amigo.

(Cameras return to Tommy and Mercedes)

Tommy Vercetti: Who's the loudmouth?

Mercedes Cortez: Ricardo Diaz. He's Mr. Coke.

Ricardo Diaz: Mercedes!

Mercedes Cortez: Oh, I was just taking my friend back into town. Another time, Ricardo! Let's get out of here. Actually, take me to the Pole Position club.

(Tommy drives Mercedes to the Pole Position Club)

Mercedes Cortez: Will you be working for my father?

Tommy Vercetti: Maybe.

Mercedes Cortez: It's so difficult having a rich and powerful father. Vamos.

(If the player is driving a car)

Mercedes Cortez: Will you be working for my father?

Tommy Vercetti: Maybe.

Mercedes Cortez: Do you mind me resting my hand in your lap?

Tommy Vercetti: Maybe...

Mercedes Cortez: It's so difficult having a rich and powerful father. Vamos.

(They arrive at the Pole Position)

Mercedes Cortez: See you around, handsome!

Tommy Vercetti: I'm sure you will.