Papi Don't Screech

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Papi Don't Screech
Two Cubans attempting to console a distraught Umberto Robina, who is certain his father Alberto will be killed by the Cholos

Two Cubans attempting to console a distraught Umberto Robina, who is certain his father Alberto will be killed by the Cholos
Game GTA Vice City Stories
For Umberto Robina
Location Little Havana, Vice City
Reward $1,000
Unlocks Havana Good Time
Unlocked by Balls

Papi Don't Screech is a mission in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories given to protagonist Victor Vance by Umberto Robina from his house in Little Havana, Vice City.


Victor stops by Umberto Robina's house, seeing Umberto crying for his father, Alberto Robina who went to the stadium in Downtown to see a wrestling match and the Cholos have been heading there, in attempt to kill him. Victor gets in a Cuban Hermes and drives to the stadium to pickup Alberto. Alberto is nervous about opening his cafe late and tells Victor to drive carefully without crashes or speed. Victor takes him to Café Robina whilst avoiding being attacked by Cholo Sabres, completing the mission.


(Two Cubans, Victor and Umberto, who is crying)

Umberto Robina: You even got any balls?

Cuban #1: I didn't know!

Umberto Robina: And you, I've seen shit with more guts!

Cuban #2: You didn't say your father was going.

Umberto Robina: Shut your mouth, lady boy! He's my daddy, and I love him! I can't believe you would do this! And you left him there to die!

Victor Vance: Umberto, what's the problem?

Umberto Robina: Oh, my God, I'm going to be an orphan!

Victor Vance: Oh, man... I'm sorry. How did it happen?

Cuban #1: It hasn't happened, brother. Alberto - that's his dad - he's over at the wrestling, man.

Victor Vance: So why the tears?

Cuban #1: We just saw some Cholos driving over there, man.

Victor Vance: So why doesn't somebody just go pick up Alberto?

Cuban #2: That's what we said to Umberto. Only he freaked out.

Victor Vance: Well, go get him.

Umberto Robina: No. No way, Vic. Don't let my daddy be collected by these two bitches! He's a man. The shame would kill him.

Victor Vance: Well, you go!

Umberto Robina: I can't drive, man! I'm hysterical!

Victor Vance: Goddamn it. I'll go get him... But you owe me, you freak.

(Victor picks up Alberto as he's leaving the stadium)

Victor Vance: Hey, Alberto? Your son sent me to pick you up.

Alberto Robina: Gracias, senor. You're late... Tarde. I can't be late opening my cafe. In twenty years, I have never opened late.

Victor Vance: Take it easy, Alberto. No problems.

(While Victor is driving to Cafe Robina)

Alberto Robina: Ooh. I don't feel too good.

Alberto Robina: Take it easy! My heart!

Alberto Robina:Please! I don't have my medication!

(Victor and Alberto reach Café Robina)

Alberto Robina: Phew... All this rushing... My heart, she's not so good these days.


The reward for completing this mission is $1,000 and the mission Havana Good Time is unlocked.


  • The name of the mission is a reference to the Madonna song Papa Don't Preach released in 1986.

Video walkthrough

PS2 Version - GTASeriesVideos