Weazel News

Logo
Logo

Weazel News is a news branch of Weazel that parodies Fox News.

The Weazel News name was first mentioned briefly in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, during a closing dialog in "Coq O Vin" in Liberty City Free Radio. It is in Grand Theft Auto IV, however, when its prominence was elevated, reporting events of Liberty City and the exploits of the player.

In GTA IV, Weazel News is a massive news network, with several divisions, including Weazel Sports, Weazel Weather and Weazel Business. Niko can visit the website, watch it on TV or most commonly, listen to it on the radio.

Reporters

Radio stories

The news on the radio will update itself as the player progresses through the story. Each Weazel update usually features at least one story related to a recent mission by Niko, followed by one or two unrelated items (or, at least, items not immediately related to current missions). Occasional updates may include no reference to any of Niko's missions.

GTA IV

  • Bridge closings, Mayor Ochoa weapons ban
  • Jingoism Act renewed, rise in crime in Hove Beach, the Horn, dead Platypus captain
  • Plan to outlaw online poker, Manny Escuela, Lazlow returns
  • Tom Goldberg, Yusuf Amir's new apartment complex
  • Police brutality, hybrid cars, traffic report of Broker and Dukes, new taxi fare agreement, meth
  • Rise in crime with the police blaming the Eastern Europeans, hybrid cars popularity, protest over bridge closures
  • BAWSAQ pummels, Congress passes the Jingoism Act, Micheal Graves and John Hunter campaigns, Alderney mob gaining prominence
  • Francis McReary, meth, Bryce Dawkins's homophobic rant
  • Bryce Dawkins's apology, new border security bill, Europe underperforming
  • War on Terror, global warming denials, beheaded victim found in river
  • Explosion in Bohan, phone market saturated in cheap phones
  • Violent shootout in nightclub in Hove Beach, dealing with rise in Russian organized crime, the Swingers wanting a new stadium
  • Littlelacysurprisepageant.com, The Angels of Death and The Lost Brotherhood war, online dating sites, Lazlow returns after six years of absence and announcement of Integrity
  • Liberty City Swingers acquire phenom pitcher from Carcer City Unicorns.
  • Pressure on Ochoa to open bridges, another decapitated and mutilated jogger in Alderney, online dating caution
  • Ochoa reopens bridges over Humboldt River, link between drug rings and terrorism, Lazlow launches Integrity 2.0, BAWSAQ
  • Illegal street races on the rise, same sex marriage battle, series of violent beatings in Middle Park
  • Biker Jason Michaels found dead, biker war, BAWSAQ closes down, two fires started by arson with Molotov Cocktails in Hove Beach
  • Pavano capo testifies in court, Bryce Dawkins pushes city ordinance banning gays at fire stations
  • Tom Rivas killed, high prices of meds led to influx of cloned meds, Web 2.0
  • Deadly helicopter and powerboat racing, BAWSAQ news, Excelsior Extreme 9 promoted in Republican Space Rangers
  • Tom Goldberg killed, serial killer strikes man in Dukes has limbs stolen, barroom shootout between Angels of Death and Triads
  • Killing in Chinatown in front of arcade, newborn murdered father to marry mother, renovation of Libertonian Museum
  • Increase police presence in potential terrorist targets, violent shootout at construction site, libraries nationwide shutting
  • Shootout at The Triangle Club, Joshua Hampton wanted, Dave Bosoy found dead,
  • Counterfeit bills, serial killer terrorizing city, deadly shootout in Fishmarket
  • Helicopter explosion considered an accident by the FIB, family-values senator soliciting sex in Florida park bathroom, Bobby Jefferson planning to give an address next month
  • Bank heist in Algonquin, West River crossings planning to be opened, registered sex offenders have accounts on myroomonline.net and street opinions on that site
  • Hickey Bridge and Booth Tunnel reopened, social networking is the future, Eris CEO checked himself into rehab for his addiction to steroids
  • Explosion in Northwood, all casualties are known members of the Ancelotti family, terrorism suspected; housing market one of strongest in country, Tony McTony wants to sue LC24 magazine
  • Escaped felon on the loose, cats, urban myths out of control in the city
  • High speed chase in subway tunnel, Swingers steroid scandal, Dragon Brain massacre outside Dukes theatre
  • Francis/Derrick McReary shot dead, Gerald McReary arrested, BAWSAQ skyrockets, 14-year-old boy reunited with family after being lost in Krapea for six years
  • Family values group CUMGULP wants video games banned, Majestic hotel shootout, city council wants to build new Swingers stadium
  • Body of Aiden O'Malley recovered, NOOSE intercepted boat carrying cocaine, video games may cause impotence in men
  • Elizabeta Torres convicted, fans of professional wrestling still breeding based on lower student aptitude tests in elementary schools, Cleo Parker
  • Liberty City flooded with counterfeit bills causing the dollar to fall, resignation of Swingers head coach, clone doctor says doppelganger sex is ok
  • Gunfire at oil refinery at Acter Industrial Park, helicopter battle in the sky, police arrested clone doctor for creating underaged clone sex den
  • Decapitated body found at Liberty Ferry Terminal, Kerry McIntosh sues retreat in Los Santos, illegal immigration bill at Capitol Hill
  • Anthony Corrado murdered, Air Sol pilot issued apology to passengers, some urban planners ask should the bridges be reclosed
  • Bobby Jefferson's motorcade was attacked, Tony Prince spoke against overpolicing of nightclubs after two of his clubs were temporarily closed, Eris issued statement defending use of child labor

The Lost and Damned

The episode features most stories from the GTA IV storyline in addition to original stories for the new storyline:

The Ballad of Gay Tony

The episode features stories unique to Luis Fernando Lopez' storyline, but references events in the other plots as well.

Trivia

  • As explained above, Weazel News mocks Fox News, as both weasels and foxes are native animals to America and Europe, presuming that it's a Red Fox. The two animals are also known for their trickery and mischief, something that seemingly parallels that of Fox News, which is often criticised for its sensationalised and unethical style of journalism.
  • 'Weasel' is also used as a word to show cowardice, 'To weasel out of something'
  • The Weazel News helicopter is a two-bladed Maverick, a design cut from the final version of GTA IV.
  • Weazel News's slogan is "Reporting The Right News". There is some emphasis on "The Right". This is obviously a reference to Weazel being right-wing, which in turn is a reference to Fox News's alleged right wing bias. This is balanced by Liberty Tree being depicted as somewhat left-wing.