John Chesapeake

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John Chesapeake is a journalist for Weazel News in Grand Theft Auto IV. He writes many articles for Weazel News' website

Online Articles

Toga To Be True

Top economist falls for pyramid scheme

It seems that nobody is immune to the temptations of 'get rich quick' schemes on the Internet. Brilliant economist and Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, Darius Wolfe, has revealed that he was persuaded into investing $20,000 into a online pyramid scheme. "As soon as I received the spam email titled 'Amazing Business Opportunity' that directed me to, I just had to know more," said Wolfe, "I've never been able to resist a risky investment."

Despite Wolfe's baseless allegations, the 'Roman Empire Wealth System' has been an upstanding sponsor of Weazel News and we cannot allow some cretin to sully its name. Life is full of risks and, as civilization goes down the toilet, it only means more ratings and sponsors for us.