The Truth asks Carl Johnson to locate and pick up Kent Paul and Maccer in the desert.
|Game||GTA San Andreas|
|Target||Rescue of Kent Paul and Maccer|
|Location||The Four Dragons Casino, Las Venturas, San Andreas|
|Unlocked by||You've Had Your Chips|
Don Peyote is a mission and the last in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, given to protagonist Carl "CJ" Johnson by aging hippie The Truth from the entrance bouquet outside The Four Dragons Casino, a casino located along The Strip in Las Venturas, San Andreas.
Carl receives an unexpected phone call from The Truth. Apparently, he, a band and the manager went on a "peyote safari" in the desert last night. He tells Carl that he's in Los Santos, not knowing how he got there waking up in a Japanese bath-house about an hour ago, and he doesn't know what happened to the other people. Thus, he instructs Carl to go to Arco del Oeste and pick them up, making sure they're safe.
Carl grabs a vehicle and heads out to Bone County. Once atop Arco del Oeste, he starts looking for the band's frontman and the manager by shouting. The band's frontman, Maccer, directs him to where he and his manager, Kent "Pablo" Paul, are. Apparently, they passed out from all the drugs, while Carl offers them a ride to town. Paul tells Carl to take them to Caligula's Palace where his friend, Ken "Rosie" Rosenberg, is working.
Carl picks up a vehicle that can at least seat the two of them and fetches the two, since Maccer can't walk much. Carl and Paul ask where the other members of the band are; Maccer narrates that he only remembers snakes, so Carl takes them to the Snake Farm west of Verdant Meadows. Once there, a few people notice Maccer and Paul; they had sexual intercourse with a girl who received a rash from one of them, and passed it onto her brother who also had sex with her. Angrily, they shoot at the three with guns. They escape to their vehicle, and Carl takes them to Rosie's place, Caligula's Casino, at The Strip.
Once there, they go inside and make their way to the office. They find Rosie, who's apparently in a tough situation. Paul introduces him to Maccer and Carl. Rosie then explains he's in a very depressing and tough situation right now. Every Mafia family is pressuring Rosie, and, to make things "worse", Paul is here to witness it. Paul decides to give Carl a call later, in case they need help.
As Carl goes outside the casino, he calls friend Wu Zi "Woozie" Mu informing him that he found an excuse out for infiltrating Caligula's Casino.
(Carl is outside the casino. His phone rings.)
The Truth: Who am I speaking to?
CJ: It's CJ. Hey, Truth, is that you?
The Truth: Might be. Might be a government algorithm trying to pick your brains, so don't admit anything!
CJ: Whatever, man. Whassup?
The Truth: I need a favour, Carl, thought I could cash in some karma chips.
CJ: Your credit good.
The Truth: I took some fellow travellers deep into the desert on a peyote safari a few nights back. We faced the inner light and communed with the lizard king.
CJ: Sounds fun. How did it go?
The Truth: That's the problem, I don't know. I'm in Los Santos. I woke up in a Japanese bathhouse about an hour ago. I have no idea how I got here or where the others are.
CJ: They're probably fine.
The Truth: I don't think so. They were Brits - a band and their managers. They have no experience about the desert.
CJ: OK, where'd you make camp? I can go have a look.
The Truth: I took 'em up Arco del Oeste - fantastic sunsets. Best start looking for them up there.
(Carl is in the desert, calling out. Two people are laid out on the ground somewhere.)
CJ: Hello? Hey, anybody out here? Truth sent me!
Maccer: EH! (raises his hand) Over 'ere!
CJ: Hey, man, you all right?
Maccer: (wakes up) 'Kin' 'ell, I'm fucking hanging.
Paul: (wakes up) Stone me bloody crows. Where am I?
Maccer: I dunno, mate. I was having a dream; I was wanking over some fat bird's tits when this twat turned up.
Paul: (rises up on his feet and approaches the partner) Maccer, you fucking psycho! You did it again, didn't you!
Maccer: That peyote was shite, you were lucky I brought some tabs along!
Paul: I've told you a million times not to put stuff in my fucking drink! (kicks Maccer hard to the ground again)
Maccer: (as he falls) Oh, piss off, kidder!
Paul: (sees Carl on recouping his senses) Who are you again?
CJ: Oh, I'm a friend of The Truth's. He said you guys might need a ride into town or something.
Maccer: But I'm a fucking raspberry!
Paul: You're not a fucking raspberry!
Maccer: I can't feel me legs, our P. I've wanked the use out of them!
Paul: Just stand up, you soppy cunt. We go through this every weekend.
(Maccer tries to stand up.)
Maccer: Ah! Ooh!
CJ: Man, what the hell was y'all doing last night?
Maccer: Anybody got a rag?
(Paul hands Maccer a rag. Carl turns away and sighs disgustedly.)
CJ: So, where am I taking y'all?
Paul: I've got a pal, Rosie. He's got some casino gig going down in Venturas. Sweet.
(Maccer goes to hand Paul the rag back.)
Paul: Fuck off, string.
Maccer: Oh, charming.
CJ: Alright, ladies, let's go.
Paul: Come on. Fucking Northerners...
Maccer: Well, it felt like I couldn't feel them, honest!
(Carl acquires a vehicle for the duo and they start driving out of Arco del Oeste.)
CJ: So where's the rest of the band guys?
Paul: Maccer, where are the boys?
Maccer: I don't fucking know, do I? I remember snakes. Lots of snakes!
CJ: It's a snake farm not too far from here. We can go check it out.
Maccer: You look as pale as a drowned baby, man.
Paul: Oh God, I think I'm gonna chuck.
Maccer: P, what you need is some food down ya. A fried egg sarnie with mayonnaise will sort it. Or what about a pickled egg?
Paul: Pull over, NOW!
(Carl may choose to halt and allow Paul to get out and vomit. If not, Paul vomits in the car, and a seperate dialogue is triggered.)
(Carl, Maccer and Paul are walking towards the Snake Farm. There are two hillbillies standing outside the Snake Farm.)
CJ: Here we are, look familiar?
Maccer: Looks just like Salford to me...
Paul: What are you talking about?
Hillbilly 1: Take a gander at 'em fellas, is that 'em?
Hillbilly 2: That there city boy has gone and been with my prize hog! Now I don't even get no sugar from her!
(Two more hillbillies come around the corner, a man and a woman.)
Hillbilly 3: And that one done screwed my sis! I've had a terr'ble aching in my grinds ever since!
Hillbilly Woman: I'm gonna slap you silly for giving me and my fella the red bumpies!
Hillbilly 3: What'n tarnation? I'm a fixing to give ya a whoopin' for what you gone and done to my young 'uns!
(If Carl kills the hillbillies, the trio heads to Caligula's Palace.)
CJ: Seems you boys had a good time.
Maccer: Ae, what about the band?
Paul: We'll just have to pray they('ve) made it to civilization. Keyboardists and drummers are ten-a-penny anyway.
CJ: Which casino is it?
Paul: It's called Caligula's. It's on The Strip somewhere, I think.
Maccer: How many tits does this Rosie have? Big, floppy sausage tits? Empty saddlebags, or bee stings?
Paul: Rosie's a man! And stop touching yourself.
Maccer: It's just for comfort Pablo! This is a stressful situation, man.
Paul: You're fucking telling me it is?
CJ: Aww, can it, you two?
Maccer: Hey, he started it!
(If the hillbillies follow Carl, Maccer and Paul to Caligula's Casino, then Carl, Maccer and Paul, along with the hillbillies in their vehicle, pull up outside Caligula's casino.)
CJ: Shit, here comes them snake farmers! Alright, I've had enough! Let's finish this!
(The hillbillies approach Carl, Maccer and Paul.)
Maccer: Oh, I'm gonna grab some big tits, man!
Paul: Oh, bollocks. In for a penny, in for a pound.
(Carl, Maccer and Paul are walking towards Caligula's Casino after getting rid of all business, including the hillbillies, who are killed.)
Paul: Come on then, let's go in and see Rosie.
(Rosie is in his room inside Caligula's Casino. There is a knock at the door. Rosie's assistant opens the door to Carl, Maccer and Paul.)
Paul: Kent Paul, here to see Rosie.
Assistant: Hey boss, there's somebody here to see you.
Rosie: Oh, go away, I have a migraine.
Paul: Oi, Rosie, son, it's me, Paulo!
Rosie: Oh, God. My despair is complete. OK, let him in.
Paul: Rosiiieee! How are you, me old son?
Rosie: I pray that one day I can escape my perpetual torment and retire in peace and comfort a million miles away from anyone I've ever fucking known, instead, I get this.
Paul: Come on, it's me, Kent Paul!
Rosie: Well, hello, Paul, what a pleasant surprise. Who the hell are these guys?
Paul: These are my boys - Maccer and Carl.
Maccer: You want any Speckled Doves, boss? I'm peaking on one right now. Top-of-the-range, man.
Rosie: Well it's fitting. As I sit here up to my neck in a river of shit, with every Mafia gorilla from Liberty City to Los Santos pissing in my face, that you, Kent Paul, should witness it.
Paul: What's the matter, son?
Rosie: Too numerous, oppressively insurmountable and depressingly fucking typical even to mention.
Paul: It's alright, bruv, Paulo can help. Give us some space would you, son. I'll give you a tinkle later.
CJ: Alright, for sure.
Paul: (sees Maccer following Carl) Not you, Maccer.
Maccer: Oh, you twat.
(Carl is outside Caligula's Casino. He phones Woozie.)
CJ: Hey Woozie. I think I found a way to scope Caligula's without causing too much suspicion. We can talk later.
- After the player has picked up Paul and Maccer, Paul will say that he's not feeling right, in response, Maccer will deliberately suggest that he should eat inappropriate food. As a result, Paul will demand that the player pull over and he will literally get out of the car and vomit. If the player does not pull over, Paul will vomit in the vehicle, triggering some interesting dialogue.
- If the player lets the cowboys chase them to the casino, a fight would ensue between Paul, Maccer, Carl and the chasers.
- There is (un)cut dialogue that suggests Maccer would've urinated during the ride. Maccer does urinate if the player lingers around for a long time or using a slow vehicle to carry them.
- Despite being a relatively major plot point, the player does not ever find out what had happened to the rest of the 'Gurning Chimps'. It is presumed that they are playing together again as in 1998, Head Radio DJ Michael Hunt comments about one of their recent concerts in Liberty City.
- The name of the mission is likely a reference to the novel Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes, or the fact that this task connected Carl to the Italian mafia and eventually their Don, Salvatore Leone. However, it actually translates from Spanish into "2 Peyotes", a reference to the fact that Paul and Maccer were the "two" and only "two" fellow travelers to The Truth on a "Peyote" safari, which is a subtle reference to an eponymous variety of cactus with narcotic properties.
Post-mission Phone Call
CJ: Speak on it! (The screen would read 'Halo' or 'Hello' instead.)
Paul: Awright, Carl! It's me, Paulo. Listen, Rosie's in a tangle, and I think you're the geezer to sort it out for us, okay sunshine? Slip round the office and see me double quick.
CJ: Yeah, thanks man, I appreciate the opportunity!
Paul runs out of the car and throws up.
CJ, Paul, and Maccer look for the other members of The Gurning Chimps at a snake farm.
CJ, Paul, and Maccer fight the snake farmers outside of Caligula's Palace.
Paul introduces CJ and Maccer to Ken Rosenberg.
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