|Full Name||Anne Bimby|
|Main Affiliations||WNKA International (employer)|
Another studio shuttered and turned into flats.
- After Franklin and Lamar
The implosion of the American film industry continued today with the announcement that another major movie studio has closed its doors for good. Lowenstein Pictures was founded by Vinewood mogul Roy Lowenstein in the 1920s and soon became a production line for insipid family-friendly entertainment despite Mr. Lowenstein’s much publicized vicious mistreatment of his own wives and children. The news will no doubt deal another blow to Solomon Richards and his beleaguered Richards Majestic studio, which was been forced to scrape the creative barrel in recent years with desperate movies like Defender of the Faith in a last-ditch attempt to stave off bankruptcy.
British Animation Leading the Way!
- After Crystal Maze
We've long led the world in talent shows and boy bands. Not top British talent is trying to take over the last bastion of American entertainment hegemony – animation. "The Loneliest Robot" has been a surprise hit in America, with moviegoers loving its whimsical charm and home spun tale of good overcoming adversity via ultra violence, despite some parents voicing concern that some of the material was too extreme for children. The film, which was banned as pornographic here in the UK, has been a huge hit in America with audiences of all ages. We spoke to one mother outside a theatre in Vice Beach. "My kids loved it because of the extreme violence and group sex, my husband liked it because the robot controlled his wife, I just loved the melancholy mood that made me feel intellectual." American animation behemoth Fred's are now expanding production in their UK facility and are promising several more Loneliest Robot films, video games, fast food meals, and other tie-ins. Director S. Louis Crawford told us "the British are coming – this time it's true. We’re going to take over and I'm getting that statue even if I have to blow someone."
Automaker goes to Penny.
- After Fame or Shame
Billionaire venture capitalist Isaac Penny has announced that he will be taking a controlling stake in the beleaguered Vapid Motor Company, which has blown through all its bailout money and is now teetering on the brink of bankruptcy once again. In the press, Penny is trying to paint himself as the saviour of a great American institution, but a history of ruthless asset stripping suggests that his real intentions are far less noble. Dear oh dear. America. We colonized It, they homogenized it. At this rate their car industry will be as moribund as ours.